I never imagined a year could strip me down to my core like 2024.

It wasn’t one dramatic event but a series of small losses and realizations.

It forced me to confront the worst version of myself; the most devastated, hopeless, and broken I have ever been.

At times, I barely recognized who I was anymore. The person I thought I’d be, the dreams I had for this stage of my life, and the confidence I once carried; they all seemed buried under the weight of wrong choices and internalized disappointments.

Some days, just getting through felt impossible. And some nights, I’d lie awake wondering if I’d ever feel like myself again.

There was guilt, anger, and shame eating away at me, leaving nothing but a hollow shell.

Yet, somehow, I kept going.

Slowly, painfully, I faced the fears I’d been running from and dealt with the insecurities I thought I could ignore forever.

Now, as I stand on the edge of a new year, I see not just what I endured, but also what I’ve learned. Feeling proud for how far I’ve come.

Not that I’ve got it all figured out. I don’t. But I’m proud of myself for making it through, for learning, for growing, and for still trying, carrying with me to the new year, not resolutions, but this time lessons, as reminders for 2025.

Reminder 1: Disappointment Discriminates Against No One

Whether we’re good, bad, or somewhere in between, disappointment doesn’t spare anyone. It comes for all of us, in its own time and in its own way.

This isn’t necessarily a negative thing. In fact, the very inevitability of disappointment makes the experience more human and more relatable, creating a shared understanding of vulnerability among everyone on this planet.

While sometimes disappointments may reflect our choices, some other times they hit with no regard for who we are or what we deserve. And yes, it’s unfair, and it forces us to deal with challenges we didn’t cause or shouldn’t have to deal with in the first place. However:

Reminder 2: Even When It’s Unfair, It’s Still Our Responsibility

Life isn’t always kind, not because of its inherent nature, but because we share it with co-creators whose actions are beyond our control. Which unfortunately, places us sometimes at the receiving end of situations that feel entirely unjust. Whether it’s a betrayal, a missed opportunity, or being hurt by someone we trusted.

Yet, in those moments of unfairness, lies an important choice: how we respond.

It’s easy to slip into the mindset of a victim, believing that circumstances are beyond our control. We could even retreat to the nearest corner and let ourselves cry about it until the morning, but at the end of the day, it’s our responsibility to lift ourselves up, to process the pain, to protect our peace, to move forward and to acknowledge that while we may not have caused the unfairness, we are still the ones carrying the weight of our emotions and actions.

And as unfair as it might get, there’ll always be one unchangeable truth:

Reminder 3: Nothing Goes to Waste

No matter how chaotic the world feels or how injustices seem to go unanswered, God has an ingenious way of settling accounts. 

Each of us adds their own weight to the universe with every action, every good and wrong deed, and every intention, whether pure or sneaky. Nothing goes to waste, and everything finds its way back into balance.

In time, what we give finds its way back to us in unexpected and often greater ways, while those who acted with ill intent face the consequences of their choices.

Yet, this doesn’t mean we should give solely aiming for returns. What we should simply do is to:

Reminder 4: Give for The Sake of Giving

True generosity isn’t transactional, it’s an act of purity, not a strategy for reward. When we give with the expectation of returns, we tether our kindness to outcomes, risking disappointment when life doesn’t unfold as we envisioned.

Instead, giving for the sake of giving allows us to act from a place of abundance; pouring goodness into the world because it reflects who we are, not because we’re counting on the universe to balance the scales in our favor.

This doesn’t mean we give indiscriminately. True balance still holds, and achieving it calls for us to:

Reminder 5: Be Careful Where Goodness is Placed

Karma doesn’t just find the ones who act out of malice, it also holds accountable those who extend kindness to the undeserving.

There’s a difference between someone who genuinely needs help – someone who, despite their struggles, makes an effort to grow or improve – and someone who simply feels entitled to it.

When we fail to discern this difference, we risk pouring our energy into those who take but never transform, who demand but never appreciate.

This isn’t about abandoning compassion or turning our backs on people who are hurting. Rather, it’s about releasing ourselves from the role of “the rescuer” and be good to people by giving them the chance to learn the lessons life lays before them.

Because at its core, giving is as much about who we give to as it is about how we care for ourselves, which is why:

Reminder 6: Being Good to Others Starts with Being Good to Ourselves

Giving starts with balance, not ends with it. On one side, it’s about being mindful of where our energy flows, and on the other, it’s about ensuring that we care for ourselves in the process.

Giving to others while neglecting ourselves isn’t selflessness, it’s self-ignorance. When we pour from an empty cup, we do ourselves a disservice, creating cracks in our foundation until one day, those fractures become impossible to ignore.

If we continue to sacrifice whether for those who value our efforts or those who don’t, our inner self will eventually rebel, lashing out in frustration and pain. And in that moment, the very people we thought we were helping might bear the brunt of our unspoken exhaustion and resentment.

Yet, balance has its limits. To truly give meaningfully, it’s not enough to care for ourselves, we must also:

Reminder 7: Be Authentic in Who We Are

I used to hear the word “authenticity” thrown around in ads; “Be authentic!” or “Live your truth!” It sounded powerful, even aspirational, but I never fully understood what it meant.

Then, somewhere over the past few years, I started to notice a hollow feeling in my actions, a deep exhaustion I couldn’t shake. By 2024 as I dug deeper, I realized that many of the goals I was chasing were assigned to me, and that the life I was living wasn’t my own. They were goals and life I chased and lived just to fit in. Truth is, many of my giving was driven by the need to be accepted and fit in,

You see, unalignment with whom we truly are breed haziness and actions without purpose, and as a result, our connections and our giving become hollow, based on fear, obligation, or a longing for approval.

Authenticity, on the other hand, brings clarity and resonance. Every connection, and every gift we offer, stems from a place of clarity, balance, and genuine intuition, aligning ourselves with people and opportunities that resonate deeply with who we are, and ultimately allowing experiences and relationships that reflect our inner truth. And as a result:

Reminder 8: We Thrive Where We Belong

When we abandon pretense and sacrifice, and instead live in harmony with who we truly are, we stop fighting to fit in. We let go of forcing ourselves into situations that drain us or don’t make space for what feels right to us, what feels like home.

The more aligned we are with our authentic selves, the more we’re attracted to where we belong, and the more we attract what is meant for us, connections that feel effortless, opportunities that uplift us, and circumstances that nourish our growth.

On the downside, it may mean letting go of opportunities that were never truly ours, and experiencing a sense of vulnerability, feeling unsafe in people’s reaction and uncertain about circumstances during the process. However:

Reminder 9: We Find Grounding in The Choices That Reflect Our True Selves 

True stability isn’t found in the approval of others or the predictability of circumstances; it’s built within ourselves. When we ground ourselves in our own values and choices, we create a foundation that doesn’t waver, no matter how uncertain the world around us becomes or how people react to who we are.

Not everyone shares the same values or makes the same choices we make, and that’s okay; no choice is inherently right or wrong. Some find peace in conformity, others rebel against it, and some strive for a balance between societal expectations and personal desires.

Whatever path we choose, we must stand firm in our own frame of reality, letting go of the weight of how others may react to our decisions.

We are not responsible for managing other people’s lessons or reactions, just as they are not responsible for managing ours. Our task is to:

Reminder 10: Honor What’s Ours, Release What’s Not

We often feel compelled to carry responsibilities that aren’t ours, managing others’ reactions, meeting imposed expectations, or chasing an unattainable perfection. Worse still, we sometimes fall into the trap of trying to control others, an effort that only leads to frustration and futility.

The key lies in discerning what truly belongs to us (our actions, our intentions, our truth), and releasing what doesn’t (others’ opinions, choices, and journeys).

By honoring what’s ours and letting go of what isn’t, we reclaim the energy to focus on what truly matters. We find ourselves less shaken by unexpected detours and better able to:

Reminder 11: Never Place Happiness on Others.

People are as fluid as life itself. They change, grow, leave, and sometimes disappoint, not because they’re bad, but because their path leads them elsewhere.

To place our stability or happiness solely on promises of “forever” or “for long” is to anchor ourselves to something unpredictable.

The people we meet, like us, are navigating their own lives, with their own challenges, desires, and destinies. They are like life itself, unpredictable, and might decide to leave any moment. 

This doesn’t mean everyone we meet will leave, but it certainly means that:

Reminder 12: Not Everyone is Meant to Stay

I hate seeing people leave. Even if it’s a guest who drives me crazy, I still feel a pang of sadness when they depart. Maybe it’s rooted in my childhood, growing as an expat in a foreign country where friendships were fleeting, and summers back home were brief reunions with cousins that always ended in goodbyes. Or maybe it’s tied to the weight of losing my father at such an early age.

Whatever the reason, parting ways is a part of life. A devoted child might move away to build their own future, a parent might pass away any moment, a cherished friend might drift apart as their path leads them elsewhere. Not everyone is meant to stay.

Which reminds me of an essential truth:

Reminder 13: We Came to This Universe Alone, and We’ll Leave It Alone

We’ve got no one but our own selves. While the connections we form bring joy, growth, companionship, or even pain, our essence is ours alone, our journey begins and ends with us.

This isn’t about loneliness, it’s a gentle reminder to build a life that stands firm, not on the presence of others, but on the strength and values within ourselves.

When we release the weight of expectations, we embrace the truth that our journey is uniquely ours. The love we share along the way enriches us, but it’s our inner foundation that ensures we remain whole, even in moments of solitude. 

And part of that wholeness is to accept the pain of the aloneness reality, recognizing that

Reminder 14: Pain Is Inevitable, but Never Meant to Last

Pain ebbs and flows, sometimes it’s sharp and unbearable, cutting through us like a storm, and other times it’s so subtle that we barely notice its presence. At its core, pain is just another form of energy, much like joy, except for that pain is heavy, low in frequency, and carries sharp edges that pierce deeply when it strikes.

We have two choices with it: either sweep it under the rug until it grows into a hungry monster gnawing away at us from the inside (with destructive consequences on the outside), or sit with it, and allow ourselves to feel it fully, transforming it in the process to something that propels us forward instead of dragging us down.

The inevitability of our own pain means we already have enough to navigate and process. Carrying what’s ours is challenging enough, so:

Reminder 15: Never Adopt Others’ Pain

Empathy is a beautiful thing, but there’s a fine line between understanding someone’s pain and carrying it as our own. We can support others and walk alongside them in their struggles, but we are not meant to bear the weight of what isn’t ours.

Adopting someone else’s pain doesn’t heal them, it only drains us. It’s an act of self-neglect, blurring the boundaries that protect our peace. Instead, honor their journey by offering compassion and presence, but recognize that their healing is their responsibility, just as yours is your own.

With those boundaries, we create the space for others to grow, and understand that: 

Reminder 16: The Value of Setting Boundaries Cannot Be Overstated

Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. It’s a declaration that our time, energy, and emotional well-being are valuable and not to be compromised. We don’t set them to shut people out; boundaries are a way to maintain harmony by defining what is acceptable and what is not.

Sometimes we hesitate to set boundaries because we fear being labeled selfish. In fact, this year, I found myself in that exact situation, made to feel guilty for protecting my peace. I gave in, made the mistake of letting the wrong people in, and chaos followed. The aftermath left me vulnerable and alone, forced to clean up a mess I didn’t entirely create.

The regret was heavy, and I can’t count how many times I replayed the situation in my mind, wishing I had stood firmer. But in those moments of regret, I learned that:

Reminder 17: We Must Forgive Ourselves More Often

Just as we extend understanding and compassion to those around us, we must learn to offer that same grace inward. If forgiveness can heal relationships with others, it can certainly heal the relationship we have with ourselves.

Mistakes are bound to happen, and as long as they happen once and we’re really sorry about them, and as long as their consequences don’t harm others, we have the freedom to release ourselves from guilt.

Yet, I know the weight of our own mistakes often feels heavier than when others are at fault. Rectifying our own missteps demands more effort, more reflection, and sometimes a greater emotional toll. But that’s okay, because the good news is:

Reminder 18: The Past Can Be Undone

While we can’t rewind time, we can reshape its impact. Past mistakes don’t have to define us, they can become steppingstones toward growth, learning, and renewal. With determination, intentional action, and the understanding that some prices must be paid, we can mend broken pieces, heal wounds, and rewrite narratives we once believed were permanent.

A wrong relationship isn’t the end of the world; we can move on to a new one, correct our mistakes and embrace the pain that comes with the change.

An unpleasant career path isn’t a dead end; a new one can always be built, provided we accept the effort and commitment it requires.

The key lies in weighing up the impact of our past choices against the potential of new ones, making decisions that align with the life we want to create so that:

Reminder 19: We Can Manifest a Better Future

Not in some woo-woo way where we sit cross-legged visualizing, hoping the universe magically fixes everything. Manifestation happens when we start taking intentional steps, decisions that reflect what we truly want, not what society or others have conditioned us to believe is the “right” way to live.

It’s about aligning our choices with the life we dream of and taking deliberate actions today to plant the seeds for tomorrow, even if they’re small. Change may feel overwhelming at times, and the best way to go about it is to slow the roll down and take it:

Reminder 20: One Step at a Time:

Progress isn’t about giant leaps; it’s about consistent steps forward. Things might not feel significant right away, but every step we take builds momentum. Over time, these steps open doors, create opportunities, and take us to places we couldn’t have imagined.

One step at a time means giving ourselves permission to grow at our own pace. It’s about focusing on what’s within reach today instead of being paralyzed by the enormity of the journey ahead. Each small victory, each tiny effort, accumulates into something extraordinary.

And as we move forward, we begin to realize that:

Reminder 21: There’s a Joy in The Pursuit

So many of us postpone joy, tying it to a distant milestone: “I’ll be happy when I achieve this” or “I’ll celebrate once I’ve reached that“. We forget that life isn’t just about the finish line; it’s about the moments in between.

There’s a unique kind of joy that emerges in the pursuit, the learning, the growth, and the unexpected discoveries we encounter along the way. Every obstacle we overcome, every step forward, and every twist in the road shapes us, teaches us, and adds richness to our journey.

Who knows? Along the way, we might stumble upon a better destination, one we never imagined but couldn’t have found without the journey itself. So why attach ourselves to a single outcome when the world holds countless possibilities? Which brings me to how important it is to:

Reminder 22: Detach From Outcomes

When we obsess over a specific result, we limit ourselves to a narrow vision of success, often overlooking the unexpected opportunities and joys that arise along the way.

Life rarely goes as planned, and that’s where its charm lies.

When we release our grip on how things should be and embrace how they are, we allow ourselves to experience life’s serendipities, wonders, and the meant-to-be’s it has to offer.

By detaching, we free ourselves from the weight of rigid expectations and open the door to endless possibilities.

And no, it’s not indifference, it’s trusting that even if things don’t go exactly as planned, life still has something meaningful in store for us, sometimes even better than what we imagined.

Even if everything comes crashing down,

Reminder 23: We Can Always Start Again

Not from ‘scratch’, we’ve got the experience! Every setback arms us with lessons learned, a sharper perspective, and the tools to navigate forward with greater confidence.

The beauty of life is its capacity for renewal. Each ending is an invitation to a new beginning, and every stumble is a chance to rebuild something even better. So even when things fall apart, we can still rise again, not as who we were, but as someone wiser and more resilient than before.

What’s the worst thing that can happen, another failure? Well,

Reminder 24: Failures are Life’s Most Honest Teacher

Failures endured are not failures wasted, they are lessons, redirections, and steppingstones to something greater. It’s what strips away illusions, revealing what truly matters and what’s worth fighting for. It’s the chance we need to start again, this time with greater wisdom and resilience.

And no matter where we are in our journey, no matter how behind or out of sync we may feel, we’ll always hold the power to rewrite our story. It’ll never be too late, simply because:

Reminder 25: We Are Exactly Where We Need to Be

Not in the perfect, romanticized sense of the phrase, I still believe there are people who intentionally and maliciously steal from us, drag us down, and push us back.

But even in those moments, we are where we’re meant to be.

On the one hand, it’s a reflection of our choices, the times we didn’t stand firm in our values or let our boundaries waver. On the other hand, it’s part of a greater plan, a lesson God allows us to experience so we can grow, recalibrate, and move forward with greater wisdom.

The present, as imperfect as it may feel, holds its own purpose. And as hard as it may be to face, we must embrace it for what it is, a steppingstone.

Life can change in an instant. A single encounter, a bold decision, or a small shift in perspective can completely alter our path.

Trust the now, even when it feels unbearable, it’s always preparing us for a better next one.